:::::IMMORTALIZE THE MOMENT:::::
  abOut a girl | I feel siCk | nOnSense. . . | x x x x ( x ) x x x x | x x x x ( x ) x x x x | Weeeee linkies  

and now..words from my mind:
sometimes words really do not inhabit any meaning. nothing you say or do will alter the situation whatsoever, leaving room for massive amounts of despair, vulnerability, and hastiness. not until the screaming fueds have diminished to tear stained cheeks and clean lines of raw flesh exposed finally start to sting does the realization of actuality set it. the supposed love i have for you gorges my desperation for a "peace treaty" talk. tedious and repetitive, we half heartedly attempt to reconcile only in hope for the calamities and petty arguments to cease one day. i would give anything if you would allow me to look into your eyes and hear words of your true self flow out of those lips i love to kiss during times like these.

ThOuGhTs:
and with my last breathe...i bid you a sour farewell...amazing how happy beginnings always end in fowl endings::.
   why is this world so full of asshole people??...it would be great if there were more kewl people in this world than asshole people...
looking on the good side of things is really difficult...its like trying to think of ice when your engulfed in flames...but sometimes thats all i have...a different thought in the middle

of a bag of hell can sometimes put a smile on my face...just to think of something really stupid thats so stupid its funny can sometimes even turn my rage into laughter...and when

i stop fogging up my head with anger...i stop to look at my situation....and it really doesnt seem so big....it doesnt seem so complicated...its not everyday that you can laugh in the

face of your problems...even laugh in the face of persecution....people can be so rude and evil....but what the fuck do they know?...i would hate to see through theyr eyes, its

probably like looking out of foggy binoculars backwards...i dont want distorted views....so fuck them if they dont like me...im sick of hating people and getting all fucked up inside

because they suck....why even bother...if i just stop to think, there lower than i am...and if i hate them, what difference is there between them and me?....so go ahead bitches out

there *not the reader* persecute me, hate me, try to piss me off....because im not going down to your level anymore....it sucks down there...i dont want your stick up my ass too....

And so my discontentment towards life grows.
wtf !! where did my peacful, clueless life go??!! i want it back!! i take back what i said....i want my old life!! i guess it's true about what they say, u never really miss something till

it's gone...*sigh...ah crap, someone kill me now....nothing bad has happened...sort of...You know what, i hang out with my FRIENDS to get away from the constant screaming and

fighting at my house, and now i get this...where am i suppose 2 go now?? float in the air? shit, this is so screwed up!! ahhh!! i haven;t sweared in a while...look whats

happening...changes...sheesh. no i'm not afraid of change....i just want my clueless life back, i don't like knowing things, nothing good comes from it....not that i mind knowing...i jus

wished it wouldnt affect me so much!!! ok..thats enough complainging 4 one day..."Life’s a bitch, and that’s the truth.

more thoughts from my mind...
well fuck me up the ass, regret has that effect....regret is in everyones mind it seems...always there..whether small or big....*i should have said this**i should have kissed

her/him**i shouldnt of done that*.....it sucks really..its like cancer, eating away at us slowly...sometimes these regrets can changed attitudes...moods..even character...i know it has

had a devastating effect on me...how about you?....like those nights when i cant sleep...i lay there staring into the darkness...thinking back on things......regretting...wondering how

certain events would have turned out had i handled them THIS way instead of THAT....most of the regrets in todays minds are attached, whether directly or indirectly, to

love....love...such as beautiful thing...yet so deadly.....i do remember....yes, i do remember........and thus the regret takes its toll...what do you think of..what do you regret?
....if nothing ever changes...im breaking down...giving up.........


i wish i could write. make words beautiful. make this beautiful.
Death is another truth.
An unavoidable certainty that waits for us at the end of this road we call life.
For some, the road is long and painful.
For others, the road is short and bittersweet.
And the real question is: Who truly lived?


::::: sometimes i am my own worst enemy :::::
ok now for the emotional shit....a lot of things have been happening in my mind and life while i had the lack of posting phase....it seems that confusion is

digging deeper into my being...i dont quite understand myself anymore....i mean, i never really did, but even more so now...a while back i did some things that changed the way i act

and the way i talk...my perception on life has been so distorted that im scared of the future....my thoughts are poisoned it seems....i can no longer think on my own...theres

something inside of this body that controls my every move it seems...im in some sort of shell, that im looking out of to the world...it hurts to think of how happy and successful i

used to be...now im so fucked up....mind boggling how just one event can make or break you...i used to not believe in god...but i know now that demons exist...you dont really want to

know how...most of you wont even believe me anyways...but now it makes me think...if demons are real...what about the rest of that shit?....fuck i regret so much what ive

done...what i asked for is so not worth the price that ive payed...i want my life back....i want myself back...but something wont let me...some thingS wont let me....why not...who am i

to keep....whats my purpose in this life....i feel theres more to my existence....but what........what?


and thats our show for today...heh